My Year of No Shopping. September 2023.

At first, I regretted the sweater. The one purchased haphazardly, with the click of a button last month, so entranced was I at the price point.

Upon first try-on, the pockets were boxy, adding nothing flattering to my frame. I didn’t fidget around or try adjusting. I unzipped it and wallowed in regret. And because I bought it final sale, I could not rely on my tried and true habit of returning (which is actually horrible horrible horrible for the planet so I’m weaning myself off that habit, too!).

And here we come upon a lesson I’ve learned many times, but have never really implemented: I must try on clothes before purchasing.

So after this impulsive setback in my No Shopping Year, I have vowed to never again purchase clothes without trying them on first.

This new promise might just be what I needed all along. Because by eliminating online shopping, scrolling is useless. Searching and comparing similar products isn’t as necessary because if the shop isn’t in town, I can’t try on the compared items anyway, so why bother?

Dare I hope this is a new era for me? After the uptick in online shopping in this past decade, will I truly return to shopping local all the time?

I hope so. I’m so tired of the instant gratification followed by the instant disappointment and regret.

A week or so after the purchase, I returned to the sweater and gave her a second shot. I adjusted, tried different pants, I hemmed and hawed in front of a mirror. And to my surprise, I found a way to make the sweater work. Relief washed over me. I foresaw a string of cold months ahead where I’d be wrapped in cozy mauve.

Shopping played little part in my September. Life got busy. Work opportunities and projects took my attention - in fun, focused ways (as opposed to the dreaded stressful, will-lead-to-burn-out ways.) I made more albums. I delighted in every one. (I’d love to make one for you, too.)

Am I seeing an uptick in packages arriving for my husband? I am. More often than not, the items all relate to household projects. And I gotta say, 1) I can’t believe he made it this far in the No Shopping year-long experiment, and 2) the guy is handy, and I am not.

To wit: he’s figured out a way to finish the trim in the bathroom. It’s the narrowest space and when we moved in, it housed a deep-set vanity. We replaced the vanity and the toilet on our own (fine, he did it - but I helped set the toilet and I’m still waiting for my trophy.) With a new vanity in place, the bathroom is now useable, but the walls around it are trim-less, showing the gaping space where the former, bulky vanity stood.

It’s a small, unfinished, final step of a bigger project. Therefore, it bugs the hell out of me. I am a completist to the core. If you’re going to do something, do it completely I say.

Anyway, a new part for his saw arrived in the mail because he figured out how to finish the trim in a simpler way than he anticipated. And I’m just PUMPED, so buy that saw part, you know?

Maybe I shopped less this past month and my ‘desire to acquire’ was quelled by the fact that more house projects are on the horizon come 2024. And maybe the best way to prep is to save funds for said projects.

Maybe my birthday has come and gone, and I scored two treasured gifts. Upon a recent trip to visit my parents, my mom gifted me the carry-on roller luggage that I’d been coveting for months. I also got a handmade card from my daughter. It cost her nothing but time, and I’ll treasure it forevermore. She has a knack for writing great birthday cards. I wanted one of my own. It will probably make it into her 2nd Grade Emerging Artist’s Album, that’s how much I love it.

My daughter sold her entire Barbie collection just this last week. It was impressive. Someone had gifted her the first Barbie when she was 3. I didn’t expect any Barbies to be a part of her childhood. But after that first one entered the house, I found myself collecting the other Disney princess Barbie’s one at a time. I found and purchased used Barbie house(s). That’s right. I brought two Barbie houses under our roof (one was free, but still). Then I discovered Barbie PETS (my child is one with animals). Her Nana bought her a Barbie convertible, then I grabbed a helicopter for $5 on our local resale Facebook page.

I accumulated a Barbie collection I myself wanted as a child. My mom tells me that I never played with Barbies. I recall only having a couple, with no accessories. My thoughts as a child, then, were more along the lines of, “What do I do with just 3 Barbies?”

As a mother, I didn’t give my daughter a chance to wonder. I created a Barbie village and set her free to imagine a Barbie world into existence.

Except, she rarely played with it. She wanted ME to play with it with her. And since I’m decidedly not a child, and my idea of play is organizing a closet, that sounded horrible. The collection was relegated to her basement play area, rarely used even during long play dates with pals.

Do I regret the collection? Not really. How do we know what kids will be drawn to unless we try?

But I am struck by the motivation behind the collection: Get her what I longed for myself. Give her what would have brought me joy.

But she is not me. She’s never been a doll lover, baby dolls, or Barbies. I never left home withOUT a doll. I feared dogs growing up. She is a dog whisperer. I colored sometimes, for sure. But her artistic talents had outperformed mine by the time she was six.

She and my husband got me balloons for my birthday. On the eve of my birthday, she kept the surprise despite every fiber of her being wanting to tell me what awaited me.

She has been playing “Keepie-Uppie” with one balloon ever since. She’d never stop the game if left to her own devices.

I bought her Barbies. She bought me balloons. We both thought we were getting what would delight the other. Except we were really getting what delighted ourselves.

I’ve been mulling over this idea for a few days now. Unpacking it, tearing off the wrapping paper if you will. What I wanted for her wasn’t to fall in love with Barbies. What I wanted was for her to find delight in this life she’s been given. What I wanted was to witness her delight.

And I am witnessing her delight. But instead of with Barbies, it’s with a simple balloon. It doesn’t matter that it didn’t come from the Barbies. It matters that she was delighted.